If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
