I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
In America we eat man semen.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
