I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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