Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
