TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
