i think i have herpe
just one?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
