we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
