I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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