I'm going to jail i love you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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