my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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