Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
