So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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