just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
