Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
