I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
