I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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