Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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