On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
