my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize