I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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