She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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