i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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