Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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