So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
