He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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