I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
