return my video game
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
