the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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