when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
