You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
