dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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