why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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