I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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