physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
