his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
