Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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