Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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