look no pants
do herpes really smell.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
