I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
