What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
