a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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