Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
