remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
