I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
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either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
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