Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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