Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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