This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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