would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
