hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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