why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
