I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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