I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
