Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
