Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
