Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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