the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
