direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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