dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival