I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?