i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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