We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?