Can i not drive my cunt home
i permit you to call me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?