Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
