Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My friends, they love my intelligence
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
