I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
